Required Wedding Reading

As the obsessed book bride that I am, planning a wedding has opened my eyes up to a whole new world of books!

One of my favorites so far is

 One Perfect Day, the Selling of an American Wedding.

This is a really easy to read book and gives a lot of background on the modern wedding industry and how some traditions came to be. I found the background on the engagement ring to be fascinating! 

One of the most helpful things about this book is the insight it gives on some of the moral decisions brides need to make when planning a wedding. The background and research that Rebecca Mead provides in her book really helped me make some planning decisions that I had moral questions about.

Two of my biggest concerns had been buying a diamond ring (I do not want to contribute to the horrors of the diamond trade) and buying an inexpensive wedding dress (I avoid buying things I know are made in sweat shops or items from countries with poor work standards). The information provided in this book really helped me make informed decisions!

To top it all off, the book was really fun to read. The author is not anti-wedding industry- but she does point out that it is an industry geared with making women think there is such thing as a "perfect day".

Have you read this book? What did you think?

When is too much too much?

The other day I was doing my normal blog search for wedding ideas and ran across this amazing photo:

(Source)

And then of course I had to do a Google search on "wedding piñata" and found many more adorable pictures of people using piñatas at their wedding. So fun! I love piñatas! I think it would be fabulous to have a piñata near the end of the reception.

But the more I think about it- as much as I love the idea, I don't think we really have time to be adding more "stuff" into the wedding. Especially since Ohio and I are trying to have a very unstructured reception.

Maybe I should just have a piñata as part of my bridal shower or at our rehersal dinner.

So I am going to sit on this idea for a couple months and see how I feel about it closer to the wedding.

Are you adding any unusual elements into your wedding? If so, how are you implementing that into your wedding schedule?

Sweet things

The week of our anniversary, I ended up working 7 days in a row, averaging at least 12 hours a day. I was on a tight deadline to get a million things done at the office, and was really stressed out and exhusted.
On our anniversary I came home from work really late at night and was so tired and feeling so sad that I wasn’t able to celebrate the occasion with Ohio.

So imagine when my surprise when Ohio met me after work with the most thoughtful gift!

Bouquet Toss

There are some wedding traditions I love and actually really look forward to when I am a guest at weddings. I love the first dance- I think the first song can tell you a lot about a couple. I also have a soft spot in my heart for the bride's dance with her dad.


However, there are other wedding traditions that I am not so crazy about.

I am not a fan of the garter toss. I really don’t want Ohio reaching up my wedding dress in front of a bunch of my family members and friends. How embarrassing! We will not be doing that at our wedding!

I also am not a huge fan of the bouquet toss. Mostly because I always felt embarrassed to be "singled out" at a wedding as unmarried and usually used this part of a reception to use the ladies room.

I thought we would skip this tradition all together at our wedding- but I do have a couple of  family members that are super passionate about the bouquet toss. When I told them not to expect the bouquet toss at our wedding, they told me that they would miss fighting over the bouquet in the family tradition.

At my brother's wedding, two of my cousins actually ended up falling down on the dance floor in a full out rumble for the bouquet. It made for some amazing pictures that still send me into a fit of giggles every time I lok at them.

At another wedding, one of the single ladies came onto the dance floor with a huge catcher’s mitt!

 In fact, thinking back over all the weddings I've been to, there have been some fun wedding moments that involved the bouquet toss. So I've decided to toss a bouquet after all!

Are there any traditions you originally thought you would skip but have decided to go ahead and do?

I believe in miracles!

A miracle has taken place.

I found a dress that I actually liked.

Really liked.

Perhaps, I could even say that I loved?

The dress is by Augusta Jones and its a very simple but well constructed gown with beautiful lace overlay. (See picture)

I loved the way I felt in this dress. It was so comfortable and easy to move in!

Unfortunately, the dress was only in the store for that one day as part of a trunk show. So I can't try it on again to see if I still love it.

Because the dress costs much more than I originally intended to spend, I just can't say yes to it without being able to try it on at least one more time.

The store also has a no picture policy so I can't even look at a picture to help me make a final decision.

Major Bummer!

Although I didn't end up buying the dress, we left that store and my spirits were much higher. There was hope for me yet!

We ended up at another bridal store, where my Mom and my cousin ended up pulling a dozen dresses for me to try on that had similar features of the Augusta Jones dress.

And another miracle happened! I found another dress that I really like!

Here is a picture of me (sans head) in the Casa Blanca Bridal gown that I really liked.

The bolero is not actually part of the dress, but I would wear something similar since I am going for a more modest and look.

Added bonus: its much less expensive than the Augusta Jones dress!

I told myself I would revisit this dress in a week or so and see if I still am in love with it.

How did you know when you found the right dress?

Planning Tip:Staying Organized

Event planning is a big part of my 9-5 job. I've planned everything from large dinner parties to formal receptions to press conferences and a ton of meetings.

If there is one thing I've learned from all this event planning, its that staying organized is key. My solution?
A simple 3 ring binder with plenty of clear page protectors and lots of dividers. Total cost under $20. Keeping myself sane and on top of my planning game? Priceless.
The key to staying organized with a simple 3 ring binder is making good use of tabs and sheet protectors.
Depending on how big the event I am planning is, I might have binders with 5 tabs and 50 pages, or I might have 3 binders with 40 tabs and hundreds of pages.
When I started planning our wedding, I knew that my binder was going to be centered around 2 key parts of the wedding: The Ceremony and Reception. So I made those the main tabs, and then started breaking these sections down further and adding more tabs. This keeps things tidy and easy to find. As my planning continues, I continue to add tabs and merge tabs together as needed.
Of course, no planning binder would be complete with other the following 2 essential tabs: Guest List and BUDGET.

In my binder I print out articles, pictures...I keep reciepts and lists of everything I purchase.
I've learned over the years to never throw anything related to planning away until after the event is over and all vendors are paid.
Once the event is over, I take my binder and remove anything that I no longer need.
What strategy are you using to stay organized?

Divide and Conquer

There is not much that I can complain about when it comes to Ohio. He is incredibly sweet and thoughtful and I feel so lucky to be marrying him. However, there is one thing about Ohio that I must admit is driving me a little nutty.

Ohio is one of those grooms-to-be who really wants to leave all the planning up to me. He doesn't care about decorations or colors or flowers. He doesn't have opinions on photographers or any other vendors.

To give him credit, he really tries to act interested when I show him different wedding invitations, but its pretty obvious that he doesn't really care.

He has told me that there are three simple things he cares about when it comes to our wedding:

1. Music. Since Ohio produces music and is a part-time DJ, he obviously wants us to have lots of good music at our wedding.

2. Mashed potatoes. He insists we serve them at the wedding reception.


3. That I show up.

For a while this really bothered me. I was annoyed. I wanted him to care- after all this was OUR wedding! I felt like all the weight of planning was falling on my shoulders.

Last week I made a resolution to stop being annoyed and accept that I cannot make Ohio care about the little details. He had mentioned that he wanted to help, but had no idea what needed to be done. So instead of wasting my time nagging him, I made a list of things he could do to help with the planning. I tried to identify tasks that he would enjoy, like looking into our post-wedding transportation options, rehearsal dinner locations and deciding on what wines to serve at our wedding.

So far, this has been a good strategy. Ohio has been more than happy to help now that he has some direction on what to do and I am a much happier bride-to-be.

How involved is your fiance in the wedding planning? How are you breaking up the planning responsibilities?

Winter Workouts

Nothing makes you feel the need to get in shape more than trying on 60 wedding dresses in one day and having them all squeeze you like a sausage. Having to have your dress clipped together, not being able to pull the zipper all the way up...it was like a big alarm went off saying "Red Alert! Red Alert! Bride-to-be Needs Fitness Intervention!"

The funny thing is that I actually like working out. I like eating healthy. Its just making the time to work out and the time to cook healthy meals that I seem to have a problem with.

The main problem I run into is that during this time of the year, it is really hard to squeeze a workout into the daylight hours since the majority of those take place while I'm at work. In the summer I typically run 3-4 days a week and live a very active lifestyle. But during the winter I just dont feel safe running in the dark. My budget is extremely tight these days, so a gym membership is out of the question.

Luckily, I enrolled in a semester long running class through the local community college. It cost me a whopping $30 for the entire semester, and I get to workout on the track under stadium lights 2 nights a week with a great group of people- and under the supervision of an experienced college coach. In addition to running, our coach also puts us through a tough strength training routine at the end of each workout.

Not only am a feeling better about my health by adding more intense workouts into my week, but I also find my classes to be a great stress reliever. The wedding stress monster leaves the minute my feet hit the track!

What type of exercise is your favorite during the winter months?

Channeling My Inner Martha

Something weird happened to me when I became engaged. Not only did I suddenly become obsessed with table settings, but I started to feel like I could DIY.

Sure I scrapbook and make my own Christmas cards. But I wouldn't really say I am a crafty person. More of a wannabee crafty person.

But that was before I became inspired with visions of beautiful tablescapes, GOCCO machines and glue guns.

So I will be channeling my inner Martha to make some of my wedding dreams come true. I know she exists in me somewhere!

#1 project on my list is sewing all of the cloth napkins for our reception. A big task considering I have never sewn anything in my life.


Luckily, Santa brought me a very special present this year that should come in handy!

Step one (after setting up the sewing machine) will be learning how to use it.

I've heard that sewing napkins is actually a good project for someone new to the art of sewing, so maybe by the time I am done making my 100+ napkins I will actually be able to sew a nice seam!

I recently ran across a book at the library that was written to teach teenage girls how to sew and I am going to use that as my guide. Wish me luck!

Have you learned how to do anything crafty in preparation for your wedding?

Budget Tip: Take Advantage of the Local Library

Books are my friend. I love them. It would be very easy for me to blow an entire paycheck at a book store. So when Ohio and I got engaged, I was glad that I had recently enacted a new life policy- I would not buy any book (unless required by school or work) unless I exhausted all the resources of the local library first.
Luckily our library system here in Sacramento is fantastic! So far I have checked out books about wedding planning and decorating, honeymoon locations....Did you know that you can even check out magazines from the library? And our library carries Bride magazine and Martha Stewart!
So now I am able to do three things I love to do: read, save money and plan my wedding!

I love it, I got it at Ross!

I pretty much never buy anything full price. I almost never even look at clothes unless they are on sale, or better yet- on clearance. Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I bought clothing at full price!

I love bargain hunting. I love being able to blow people's minds by how much less I pay for things than they would expect. It may sound silly, but finding a good bargain is pretty much one of my all-time favorite things to do.

In fact, that's probably why i am not very stressed out about the fact that my wedding budget is so small. I'm pretty confident that if anyone can plan a budget wedding- it's me.

So, its no surprise that I am a huge fan of discount stores like Ross and Marshall's. Why pay full price when you can literally buy the same exact items for up to half as much?

I used to pay attention mostly to their clothes and shoes, but recently discovered the great bargains they have in household goods.

So, how happy was I to find these awesome dried flower arrangements at Ross for less than half what I have found them for at Department stores?! Of course I had to buy every bunch they had in stock!

Since I'm obsessed with table settings, I have already figured out how to integrate these into my decor! They completely go with our rustic, natural and relaxed atmosphere vision. Now I just need to keep them in a safe place for the next 6 months!
Are you a bargain shopper? What deals have you found on wedding decor?

The Battlefield..of Cake?

Of all the things I thought I would end up fighting over when it comes to planning our wedding- cake is not one of them.

I really want to forgo spending hundreds of dollars on cake and instead have a dessert table with several small cakes and maybe a couple pies and cupcakes for people to enjoy at our reception.

Something like this:


Or this:



I guess I feel this way because I have never really had wedding cake that seemed worth the $4-$5 a slice.

To tell you the truth- I am just not really a fan of cake. OK, let me rephrase that- I am amazed by how beautiful wedding cakes can be- I just don't really enjoy eating them.

I'd rather have pie or maybe some ice cream.

And since Ohio and I have a very (very, very, very) small budget and can't afford a high-end bakery, why not buy smaller, less impressive looking cakes that taste really good?

My reasoning is not sitting well with my Mom. She thinks I will miss an important photo opportunity by not having the big traditional cake. She thinks I am being difficult by not wanting a traditional cake.

I'm trying to decide if I should be firm in my decision not to blow part of our budget on not-so-yummy cake, or let my mom win on this one. Is it worth the arguments?

Are you planning to have a traditional wedding cake or are you serving an alternative? Am I missing an important photo opportunity by not having a really pretty cake?

No Place Like Home

One morning, after I confided in Ohio about how stressed I was over finding the perfect wedding venue, he turned to me and said something that really surprised me.
"I think we should get married at your parents house"
I sat for a moment in silence.
"It will keep us in our budget" he continued, "and it will be much more special than getting married anywhere else."

The idea of getting married at my parents house had definitely been something I had thought about myself. After all, my younger brother got married in my parents backyard 2 years ago and it was beautiful.

But it was also a lot of work.

Backyard weddings are not easy. They require your family to do a lot more than they would typically do when you rent a venue. On the day of my brothers wedding, my parents and I worked to the last minute finishing last minute cleaning and preparing the house for 100 guests. We had to scramble to find space to get ourselves ready among the chaos.

But as much work as my brothers wedding was, it was totally worth it. Their wedding was so much fun and was a perfect reflection of their love.

I knew Ohio was right. My parents house was the perfect place for us to get married. It really encompassed everything we were looking for, outdoors, budget-friendly, relaxed and it would literally be home-spun.


My parents live just outside of Reno, Nevada, and their house is on a couple of nicely landscaped acres. The house sits with a backdrop of the city of Reno and gorgeous views of high desert sunsets. I mean- look at this photo my mom took recently out her back door. Amazing, right?

As soon as we confirmed our plans with my parents, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and a huge wave of excitement started to build. I am so excited to be having a backyard wedding!

Here is a picture of Ohio and I at my parents house in the space where we will exchange wedding vows. We will have the ceremony outside around a small grove of trees and then have the reception in the back of their property using the patio as our dance floor.


How did you feel when you made the final decision on your wedding venues?

Pre-wedding Required Reading

I am obsessed with books. Even as a kid, when I got in trouble my parents would punish me by NOT allowing me to go to the library.


That being said it is no surprise to anyone who knows me that after Ohio and I seriously started to discuss marriage, I bought the book, "1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married".

Ohio and I got into the habit of reading questions from the book everyday. Some questions were silly and made us laugh and some questions started some important conversations.

I highly reccomend using this book with your fiance before or during your engagement. It helps spur a lot of conversations that I think are important to have before you tie the knot.

What is on your pre-wedding required reading list?

Napkins, Plates and Centerpieces- Oh My!

I am obsessed with tablescapes. It is really getting out of hand. I think this is my favorite wedding planning obsession. I love thinking about centerpieces and tablecloths and napkins and what types of dishes we will use.

I even dream about them.

Because we are having a very relaxed outdoor wedding, I want the table decor to be relaxed and simple. But simple doesn't mean boring!

The possibilities are endless!
Something like this would be my dream- but I don't think its realistic to think I can get enough solid wood tables for my reception with my wedding budget.
I love how they skipped the flowers for rocks and lanterns!
This setting is gorgeous! I think its actually doable with our budget too! If I replaced the expensive looking flowers with babies breath and wildflowers, it really could work.


I think of all the decision I need to make regarding our reception, this is going to be the one I have the most fun with.

Have you decided on a tablescape yet?

Wedding Fail

As I've mentioned before, I have had a hard time imagining myself in a traditional wedding dress. So when it finally came time to do a full day of wedding dress shopping, I decided I would try on anything and everything to try and find "the one".


Over 4 stores and 60+ dresses later, I was exhausted, frustrated and really depressed. If it wasn't for my Mom and my amazing cousin who cheered me on and tried to make the experience fun- I think I would have been in tears.

I didn't find anything I liked. I didn't try on anything that made me feel pretty. I didn't try on anything that made me feel how I imagine I want to feel on my wedding day. Plus, I never knew how hard it is to put on dress after dress! Wedding dresses are heavy and being zipped in and buttoned up all day is soooo tiring!

That is not to say I didn't try on some very pretty dresses. I think some of them were amazing! I just didn't find a dress that I felt reflected my personality and that I felt comfortable in.

These are two dresses I tried that I thought were quite pretty- but just not the right dress for me.






I tried to keep an open mind and literally tried on every type of wedding dress you can imagine. Short sleeved gowns, long sleeved gowns, strapless gowns. Tea-length, ankle-length, floor length. White, ivory, champagne. Dresses with colored sashes. Dresses with beads, lace and even a gown with polka dots.

Although I didn't find "the dress" I did determine some things about wedding dresses that will be helpful as I continue my search for the perfect dress!

Did you enjoy shopping for a wedding dress? How long did it take you to find the right one?

Remember Who You Are

When I was growing up, whenever I left the house for a party or some other event my mom would tell me to "Remember Who You Are".

She didn't mean for me to remember what my name is or where I lived or anything like that. What she really meant was for me to remember who I really am. You know, in a spiritual way, so that hopefully, I would make wise decisions. Which I think for the most part it did.

Such a simple little saying that has stuck with me all these years. As I've gotten older and no longer face the same peer pressures as I might have faced as a teenager, I still face challenges and I find this saying to still be really really helpful in my life. I think its important to check in with myself and remind myself who I really am. Not only to center myself spiritually, but to remind myself of my priorities and values.

I think that this exercise is also helpful in world of planning your wedding. It's important to not let yourself get carried away by visions of grandeur or having your wedding planning take over who you are. Which is easy to do after watching marathons of "Say Yes to the Dress" and "Who's Wedding is it Anyways?"

So, what kind of bride-to-be am I?
Here are my thoughts:

I am a bride-to-be who wants to be married one time and forever.
I am a bride-to-be who doesn't want the wedding to be "all about me" and "my special day". I want it to be "all about us" and "our special day".
I am a bride-to-be that wants a wedding that is centered on family and a feeling of community.
I am a bride-to-be that acknowledges my wedding is not a magazine photo shoot- its the day I'll be making the biggest commitment of my life.

What kind of bride are you?

Am I a Contestant on a Quiz Show or Something?

As soon as Ohio and I announced our engagement the barrage of questions started.

"Where are you going to get married?"
"Did you pick a date?"
"How many guests are you going to have?"
"Where are you going on a honeymoon?"
"Who is going to be in your wedding party?"



Which made my head spin around and my tummy feel a little queasy. I mean- we JUST got engaged! Give us some time to enjoy the engagement bliss before making me feel like a contestant on a quiz show! I didn't (and still don't) have answers to all of these questions.

Obviously we have to answer these questions eventually- but how many people pick a date, location and plan the entire wedding in the days immediately following the proposal?

Location is Everything....

Ohio and I knew right off the bat that we wanted our wedding to be very relaxed and we wanted to have both the ceremony and reception outdoors. We also wanted it to have a home-spun feel. Since Ohio is the only person in his family who does not live in the Midwest, we also wanted to pick a location that would be fun for them to visit.

We also knew that we didn't want to blow our entire budget on a venue.

We immediately began our search for a wedding venue, knowing we could not plan anything else until this was decided.

Soon after beginning our search, I fell head-over-heels in love with a local ranch that also does weddings, Fausel Ranch. It is an amazing venue and seemed to have everything we wanted and more. The price was a little higher than I had budgeted for- but because they only book one venue there a weekend, you can do set-up and breakdown on the day before and the day after your wedding. Because we would be having a very DIY wedding, I thought this was a huge benefit.

There was one downside that ended up being a deal breaker for Ohio. The wedding would have to end by 10 p.m. to be in compliance with local noise ordinances. Since Ohio is also a part-time wedding DJ, he really wants late night dancing at our reception, and having to end our reception by 10 p.m. just wasn't going to happen.


Once that location was ruled out- we started looking at locations around Lake Tahoe. I love Lake Tahoe, and its a great location for an outdoor wedding. Immediately we were drawn to Sugar Pine Point State Park. Sadly, the current budget situation in California (Closures of California's state parks have been proposed several times over the past few years due to budget cuts) made both of us nervous about choosing a state park for our wedding venue. We didn't want to risk planning our wedding to take place at a location that might be closed or unmaintained by the time our date rolled around. We were also concerned with the weather in September- it could be too cold for our guests.

Then one day when I was searching the Internet for wedding locations I found Lavender Ridge,a cute lavender farm outside of Reno that looked perfect! It was in a good location, it was really pretty and quaint and best of all- it was reasonably priced! I sent my Mom (who lives in the Reno area) over to investigate and she called me with glowing reviews.



Isn't it beautiful? We both thought so, but we were not 100% sure that this was the right location for us.

How many locations did you consider for your wedding?

We Have A Date!

As I've mentioned before, Ohio and I have had quite a hard time picking a date. My brothers are in the military and his family lives in the Midwest. Finding a date where our immediate families can all travel the west coast has proven to be a huge challenge.

Just before Christmas, Ohio and I decided on a weekend in September. We started calling venues and hotels, and quickly realized that our choice weekend was also the same weekend as a huge event that would be bringing thousands of people into the city. This meant every hotel we called was charging sky high rates and no one would consider a group block.

Since almost everyone attending the wedding will need a hotel room- this was a huge problem that resulted in many tears, and (although I hate to admit it) a (small) tantrum.

With the restrictions on when my brothers and Ohio's parents could fly in for the wedding, we were left with one potential weekend in September for our wedding.

The weekend I had been avoiding. The weekend of September 11.

I had reservations about picking a date that had so many negative associations. I didn't want to be insensitive or have anyone think we were crazy for picking that date.

We thought about it for a a few weeks. We realized that if we stopped thinking about what other people would think, we didn't mind at all getting married on September 11.

And we knew that if we wanted to get married with our families with us- this was the only weekend we could do it. And that sealed the deal.

After all, one of the main reasons we needed to choose September 11 was that I have two brothers that are proud members of the US Military. On our wedding day, one of my brothers will have just returned from his second deployment and my other brother will be gearing up for his first.

So yes, I will be a September 11 bride.

Will I Be Able to Say Yes...to a Dress?

I have a confession to make. Its about this whole wedding dress thing.

Its just not me.

Don't get me wrong- I love dressing up! I love shopping! I like feeling pretty!

It is just that everything about a traditional wedding dress makes me uncomfortable.

I don't like how I look in white. Especially head-to-toe white.
I am short and don't really care for long dresses.
Especially puffy white dresses or tight white dresses.
I am really self-conscious about my arms. I always wear a sweater or layers of some sort. I cannot imagine myself in a strapless or sleeveless gown.

I recently went to a traditional Indian wedding and wish I could wear a sari like the bride did at that wedding! I just love this look!



I've thought about wearing a tea-length dress. Here are a couple I really like:



I love the lace!



I've also thought about choosing a non-white dress. I would feel so much prettier in blue or brown dress like this (minus the green hair piece and adding some sleeves):


Or this one:


But Ohio's family is so traditional I think it might give his grandmother a heart attack. Plus, I really dont think I have the guts to pull that off....so maybe I will settle for an off-white dress of some sort.

Did you have any problems imagining yourself in a traditional wedding dress? Are you wearing something untraditional?

What is means to be engaged

Lately I've been thinking about this whole engagement period. Before Ohio and I became engaged, being "engaged" was not something I ever really thought about. Engagement was just a time period that you wore a ring on your finger until your wedding day, when you got another ring on your finger while wearing a white dress. Then you move in together, merge bank accounts and hopefully live happily ever after.

But now I'm finding that this period of "engagement" is actually turning out to be (for me at least) a pretty important time of transitioning from the life of a single person, to the life of a wife and life-partner. For me its been a period of lots of different emotions- some positive and some negative.

The Positive: Happy; Thrilled; Excited

I am so happy and feeling so blessed that I found a partner who really makes me so happy. If you've ever listed to Dr. Laura before, you know she says the right man will swim through crocodile infested waters just to bring you a glass of lemonade. Well, I certainly have found that person. Ohio does so much for me to make me happy everyday.

I am thrilled that I am starting a new life with Ohio. I am thrilled that I have a lifetime of him cooking his famous chili recipe for me. I am thrilled that my family is his family and his family is my family. I am thrilled that my dog loves him (sometimes more than she loves me!).

I am excited for all of the adventures that await Ohio and I as we start this new journey together. I'm excited to have a wedding with my family, his family and our friends present to celebrate our commitment and love for each other. I'm excited to be able to call Ohio my husband.

The Negative: Overwhelmed: Pressure and Uncertainty

I am overwhelmed, not by the idea of being married- but by the event itself. Don't get me wrong- I am enjoying planning our wedding! I plan events for work all the time. Big events. But my life is busy- and finding time outside of my busy work schedule, school and everything else in life is tough.

Its also insane the amount of pressure I am getting from friends, family- the wedding industry to have a perfect wedding. Which I know doesn't exist. And perfect to one person would not be perfect for me. The only thing I know will be perfect about my wedding is that I am marrying the right person at the right time in my life.

I am unsure about the future. I am not uncertain about my decision to marry Ohio, or about our ability to have a healthy and happy marriage. I am just uncertain about the future in general. When I was living my life just for me, I thought about life in a different way. Even when I was in previous long-term, committed relationships, it was totally different than it is now. I am uncertain about how marriage will change my own identify and my future. Things that I never had to think about before. Like- do I really want to give up my last name or should I keep the one I've had for the past 29 years? Am I willing to sacrifice my career, friends and proximity to my parents if Ohio's job is someday relocated? Will we ever be able to afford to have kids? Those are some of the uncertainties that cross my mind.

Did you experience any of these emotions when you got engaged?